Be a Little Selfish....

Well like I said in my very first blog, I’ve completely fallen off track with my blogging (no surprise there). Life has really changed this past month for me (in a good way of course). Most of you that know me already know that I had an AMAZING birthday week and Easter weekend. I’m not going to lie, these were not “little” things that made for such a good week. In fact, it was a series of super huge things that kept building on each other to make me happier than I could have even imagined I would ever be. I know it sounds really cheesy, but I figure at this moment in my life its okay to be a little cheesy. I think I’ve earned that right.

Let me preface this story by saying it was 9:00 at night and anyone that has ever been to grad school knows that you probably aren’t thinking clearly after working 8 hours and going to a 3 hour graduate class. So, on a random Tuesday (well not very random because it was my birthday week) I came home to find that Cleve had left a candle lit in the kitchen while he was at trivia! He could have absolutely burned down the house. I thought mom and dad taught him better than that! Well, after playing in the kitchen for a good few minutes… I say playing, I actually mean I was cleaning and try to calm myself down and not be mad at Cleve for leaving a candle lit. I looked in the living room and saw MORE candles lit!! Can you believe it? Suddenly, I realized that it was my birthday week and this could possibly be some sort of “surprise” so I carefully walked into the living room and found this…..

Plus there was a really “Sweet” man standing there waiting to talk to me. After all this, I have a very beautiful shiny “thing” sitting on my left hand. I’m not going to say it’s a “little” thing because that is something it definitely is not. See….

That Thursday after agreeing to be the next Mrs. Sweet (I obviously said Yes a couple of times I think), we flew to Florida to see my family for my birthday. This really was an “All about Jillian” week! I kind of felt a little selfish, but sometimes it’s fun to just take a little attention while its being offered up to you. Just make sure you give that attention back to others and remember how special they made you feel. Someone said to me this week at work, “People don’t remember what you say or what you did, but they remember how you made them feel”.

We had a wonderful weekend with my parents and I got some really great gifts. Including this 13 pound cake!!! Yes… 13 pounds, we weighed it in a weigh contest that I won..Of course I won, it was my lucky week. Notice the little engagement ring on the top? Good job, Mom! 

Probably the best of those gifts being a 4 pack of tape measures and a running hat with headlights on it from my Dear Brother. (Yes, I am a now woman that carries a tape measure in my purse, I am officially a “Little Brenda”) Cleve always picks the most practical gifts, very good gift giver. Alan even got me a gift which just blew me away because it was something I wanted 2 months before. Anyone who knows Alan knows that he’s not normally someone who plans ahead. I love you Alan but even you have admitted this J

I was hesitant to write about all of this, but I thought for a very long time and after a gentle “nudge” from someone who wanted me to share my happiness I decided to write this entry. I try my hardest not to be selfish and I often find myself feeling selfish for being so happy. This is something I’ve struggled with for the past year. I know a lot of people that are incredibly unhappy and are constantly being thrown unfortunate circumstances at them. Trust me, I’ve been there and know what it’s like to be on the other road. There are so many people around me that make me who I am: friends, family, OOO members, and my fiancé (that’s fun to say) and I hope that you all know that I recognize and appreciate all of this. I also know that I wouldn’t have these people in my life I didn’t have my Faith in God. To be honest, I didn’t find any of this happiness until I truly started asking and allowing Him to work in my life everyday. I was very ignorant and resistant to let Him help me (anyone who knows me knows that I can be a little stubborn sometimes). It was tough letting go of this stubbornness and letting someone take over my life. We have to trust that we have the strength to make it through the hard times, because once we make it down the tough road, we will find a life that will make it all seem worth it!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.
Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT)

Just know that you can help people who are going through tough times by just being there and doing “little” or even big things to help them find their way. And when people are kind enough to return the favor and show you some attention, take it! Enjoy the happiness knowing that you can give it all back to someone else. I think it’s okay to be a little selfish sometimes, just make sure you don’t take it, run and never look back.